Thursday, December 30, 2010

Remember it is a journey.....

I need to remember that it is a journey and I want to enjoy my journey to health. Since I weigh every day, the scale wasn't kind this morning it was 241.2 - yesterday I was at 240.2 and thought I was well on my back down to my low last week of 239.8 but I wasn't.  Yesterday I didn't exercise so of course I thought that had to be it. So today, not just because of that I went running. I ran 4 miles. I didn't have that hard of a time but for some reason I was slower than I have been lately. But I did it. Then I felt like going to jazzercise since my favorite instructor teaches on Thursday night. So I went to jazzercise and boy am I sore tonight. But a good sore.  When I was running, the song below came on my iphone. I am not a fan of Miley Cyrus but I do like this song. It is called "The Climb" and it reminded me that I want to enjoy the journey.

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
Some of the things that have been great about the journey is how many good lifelong friends I have made.  I am doing Weight Watchers but that isn't where I met my friends. I met my new friends on a internet message board called but most of us know it as Dotti's.  I have ran a 5K and a 10K with these friends, I have vacationed on a lake a few times, I have traveled to a yearly event three times that we call the "Amish Luau", other dinner meetups, and chats online. We post daily on the board about our struggles, our triumphs, our questions, and our daily activities. We post more than about weight loss; we post about life.

Other things I have learned is that I am stronger than I thought. I can run a 5K and even a 10K. I can change from drinking regular cokes to diet cokes to water.  I can give up candy and ice cream. Having a hard time with cookies though :)  I am learning more about myself every day and loving it!

Enjoy your journey!!

Monday, December 27, 2010

First Day back to Work

First things first, scale was down a few pounds but I still have a ways to go before I get back to my lowest. I was 242.2 this morning. I ate light yesterday and I ran.  Today my plan was to eat light and I did but I had the munchies late in the day - I tried to fill it with nuts.  It kind of worked. I also went to Jazzercise after work. I haven't went to Jazzercise in a few months so I was looking forward to it. It was good to be back. I love running but Jazzercize helps with the toning. Hopefully tomorrow the scale will be down again.

Today I did a few things at work but then I spent alot of time cleaning up my old emails. I had folders of emails from 2004 and on. So I tried to delete the old ones and organize the rest of them. This makes me feel good! I like organization. I like to feel in control. I like to be able to find any email when I need it. So I still have some work to do on my emails and then I go on to my files on the network. Then come January 3rd, I will be organized and ready to have a great year at work.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Lesson learned

Well I gained a few pounds this morning. I ended up having some homemade sweets that my son brought over yesterday and then I had some Christmas cookies when I went to our friend's house for dinner. Dinner was amazing - prime rib, baked potatoes, salad, and asparagus. Then I ended up having a piece of red velvet cake.  So I put on a few pounds. Almost 4.  I can't believe in one day! But I had a plan as soon as I got over the shock of the scale. One of my friends said the scale screamed at her this morning and that is what I felt this morning. So I drank water, ate lightly and ran 3.25 miles. Hopefully tomorrow the scale will be lower - probably not what it was Christmas morning but lower than this morning.

The run this morning was amazing. 24 degrees and snow on the ground. I had to be careful because the road was a little icy. I bundled up with my Christmas presents and I was fine and it felt great out there.
My dog was so happy to go for a run. He LOVES to run with me. Here is a picture of the neighborhood and also of me bundled up with my dog before the run.

 I am so happy to be able to run, no matter how slow I run. I know I can lose the weight I gained yesterday and I know I am on the path to a healthier life.

So smile and get back on your path.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!
I had a great morning just relaxing with my husband. Kids are coming over in a few minutes. I made chicken chili since everyone is having a big Christmas dinner somewhere else. I was going to make a dessert but broken oven means I couldn't. Isn't that terrible?  Then we head over to our friend's house for dinner tonight. Should be a fun day. I received lots of running gear for christmas (what I wanted)
- new shirt and jacket
- running socks
- balaclava (I think I spelled that correctly)
- mittens/gloves with removable "fingers"
- small can of "mace" or something like it when running in the dark
- reflector strips for running in the dark
- really really good earphones with a microphone for my iphone.
This is all from my husband - my kids presents are ahead of me - will report in tomorrow.

And I did it. I was back at 239.8 this morning. I doubt whether I will be tomorrow but that is okay.

B  pancakes, coffee, orange
lite chocolate soy milk (YUM - I love this stuff)
L chicken chili
D prime rib, baked potatoes, asparagus
and going to try and limit myself to the dessert I brought - cookies and red velvet cake (purchased because no oven again).

Merry Christmas and have a great day!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve

Hello well after last night's Mexican dinner, I did gain a little bit back last night 0.6. This morning I was 240.4. 

I slept in this morning and I had the day off. I went for a 3 mile run this morning because it was supposed to start snowing after 1 but it is 3:30 and no snow yet. I am glad to get it done though - my day always is better after a run. I ran my neighborhood as usual with my dog Brady. But we hadn't even gone a mile and this little white puppy that the neighbors let run all over the place, kept following us and bothering Brady and trying to play with him. I can't believe the dog hasn't been run over yet the way it runs all over the place. Brady wouldn't behave, which usually he is the best running dog. So I had to drag him for 1/4 of a mile. I finally decided to take the other route into the new section of the subdivision. I ran over there for 2 miles and then I headed back to our section of the subdivision. I had to make up time so I could hit my goal of staying under 16 minute miles. I DID IT! even with the hills in the new section and that dog slowing us down.

B (before run)
coffee, oatmeal made with skim milk, cinnamon/splenda, a few walnuts and 1 tsp of oil
3 mile run
ran some errands which included going to a bakery and picking up some cookies and a red velvet cake to take to dinner tomorrow night (YUM - I hope I can stay away tomorrow from them, at least I get to leave them there)
L 1 chicken fajita taco (leftover from dinner last night) and then some ritz whole wheat crackers and weight watchers spreadable pepper jack cheese
planning to head to church for Christmas Eve service
Planning for dinner
D grilled pork chop, sauteed spinach in olive oil and garlic, butternut squash

Hoping to be back in the 230s tomorrow - we shall see!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

New low!

I reached a new low in my weight loss journey. 40 pounds down and a new decade. I hope I can keep my weight in this decade. I have been hesitant to share my weight but I am trying to be honest here.  Today I weighed at 239.8 at home. It has taken me almost 2 years to lose the 40 pounds but I feel new life in this journey of mine. A few reasons:
- my husband is on his own journey which makes it easier for me
- the new Weight Watchers Plan
- turning 50
- some success (seeing a new decade) gives me more motivation
- my desire to run faster

I am going to start posting my weight on my blog and being accountable on here.

Today's Menu
Breakfast - coffee  ( I should have eaten but I didn't)
Lunch - leftover beef whole wheat noodle tomato and bean casserole, brocolli and cheese, and apple microwaved with splenda, cinnamon, and spray butter.
Dinner - my husband really was hungry so we went to Mexican - one of our "old" favorites. We did have some chips but not as many as usual  and then I had chicken fajita tacos (there were three and I ate two and took one home)

I am hoping to get weighed in tomorrow at WW since Saturday (my usual day) is Christmas and WW is closed.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I'm Back!!!

Well it has been awhile. I have been swamped at work and had alot of personal stresses so I took a break. I don't want blogging to be a chore but something to help me on my journey.

I have at the lowest weight I have been for awhile. My husband started on his journey even though he was pretty healthy anyhow. He lost over 30 pounds in just a few weeks. He has done so well - he started running along with his biking. He has cut out bad starches and sugars like ice cream and chips. We don't go out to eat as often and when we do we choose better. Another thing that helped is that I had my first colonoscopy and couldn't eat for a day but I did drink alot and had some beef broth and jello. It went well and now it is over but my appetite wasn't crazy after so that is good. I have been eating more fruit for snacks. The new Weight Watchers Plan - Points Plus - has been good for me also. I think I am on a roll. 

I ran 3 miles today and my time was pretty good for me. I thought I would be slower but I was just as fast. I really need to lose weight to get faster I think. I want to try and go back to Jazzercise - it really helped me lose inches. I need to do some strength training along with aerobic.

Also I received a great present from one of my best friends, she sent me a journal she made for me out of a book called "Busy Feet".  She wrote a lovely message to me on the first page and inserted blank pages for me to write in throughout the book. It was awesome but the thought was what really touched me. I am writing about my running in the book.

Enough for today, hope to be back tomorrow.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Hope everyone is having a great day!  My husband and I woke up early and headed for the 5 miler called Fast Freddie's. It was pouring rain - I mean like buckets. Mud and puddles all around.  I was very unsure if I was going to run.  I am so slow and just worried about being out there in the rain that long and slipping or something and we were leaving on a 6 hour car ride this afternoon. So I didn't run it. But I don't feel like a failure - I am disappointed. I know I can run 5 miles and that is the important part. I am thankful I can run.

My husband ran in the rain and did great!! He was really happy he did it. He said the rain didn't even bother him.  Both of our shoes are ruined from walking around in the puddles (no where else to walk) I had my older running shoes but he had the only pair he has. So guess we are getting him a new pair - he needed them anyhow. 

Off to dinner with the family. First time doing it at a restuarant -will see how that goes. I am excited to see my sons.

Have a blessed day and count your many blessings! There are more than you think - when you start counting and see others who have it much worse than you do.  I am grateful for this day and what I have and I am not going to worry about the next day. I am trying to take it one day at a time and let God worry about the rest.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

I ran 5 miles today!

I had a good day so far.  I went to Weight Watchers for my regular Saturday morning. I hadn't weighed in two weeks since last week I was up about 2 pounds and in a lousy mood. Ask my husband.  :)  So today I went and I had lost 0.8 from two weeks ago!! So from last weekend I had lost 3 pounds really. Get that reasoning. This week had been awful eating-wise too. I had a couple dinners out for work, drinks one night, a couple lunches out and no exercise. I thought the scale would not be nice to me. Friday I tried to eat healthy and I ran 2.2 miles - all I could do. I had pretty good times for me, but I was beat after 2 miles. So the scale was my friend.

I also went out for my long run today and ran 5 miles! My time was good again for me. I finally am seeing some progress on my time. Others might think that I am really really really slow. I don't think that way or I would have quit by now. I compare myself to myself and I see improvement and I am having fun (yes it is fun to run) and my health is better so no way am I quitting.

I am really psyching myself up for Thanksgiving. I am going to my family's for the long weekend and I have a couple eating out and there is going to be food around, but I am going to try to think about the people and not the food. Cross your fingers for me, say a little prayer for me, send me good vibes, whatever you can do. I need all the help I can get. Hopefully I can get a run or two in also.

Have a great day! and smile!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Don't let diets get you down!

I was talking about Thanksgiving with some of my online friends and I made the comment to enjoy the people and not to get all caught up in the food.  Either eating too much and making it all about food or worryng about every bite you take and talking about how you can't eat this or that or how many calories does that have and still making it all about food.

Let's enjoy our loved ones! Isn't that why we are trying to lose weight. To spend more quality of time with our loved ones. To be able to have more fun with them. To be able to live longer healthier lives without burdening them with our care.

I have lost both of my parents and it is true that after they are gone you always wish you would have spent more time with them. At the time all you think about is that you are busy and life is still going on and you have to keep up. But would one weekend be too much, one day, one hour with them?

I want to eat healthier and be healthier.  I don't want to be obsessed with my weight or what food I eat or how much exercise I do.  So enjoy the holidays - watch what you eat - enjoy the good food - take small portions of the food that isn't as good for you or pass it up. Make the time more about talking and laughing with your loved ones.

Just a another quick observation. Yesterday I had to take some clients to lunch with a colleague. I ordered a hamburger and fries. Why?  I don't know - I knew that they had good hamburgers and I was nervous so I ordered something I was familiar with instead of salad where I could have made a mess eating in front of clients (trying to put a big piece of lettuce in my mouth).  It wasn't all that good but I ate it all. I am not sure why.  Then for dinner, my husband and I made baked tilipia, jasmine rice, green beans and I had those little single servings of cauliflower with cheese sauce that are 1 weight watchers pt. It was sooooo good. It was so much better than my lunch.  I need to remember these things so I start picking the right things. My husband has already learned this. We went out to dinner recently and he picked some chicken dish and it came with rice and some sauce on top of the chicken and a vegetable - it looked delicious. I of course was trying to be cheap and so I got the country fried steak (hold the gravy) instead of the salmon which was like $8 more. Am I not worth eating the cost of the healthier food? My husband would have been fine with whatever I ordered.

Hmmm sometimes I just have to write it out here so I can mull over it in my mind. Maybe one day I will learn.  Have a great day!  Smile!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Trying to slow down

Well I finally had a night this week that I can just relax. It has been a long week. I learned that I need to learn how to fit exercise and eating right into a busy schedule. I know it can be done, but I haven't learned yet. I will keep trying. I am not giving up. I didn't do too bad eating, but I haven't ran since last Saturday. I hope to run tomorrow. I can't believe how much I miss it.

Another thing I have learned this week is how often I say "but".  LOL  I don't like excuses. I always have an excuse. I need to quit excusing myself and just do it! As long as I keep on and don't give up - I am happy!

I hope to have a good weekend and be able to delve into some deeper topics. 

Remember to smile at someone.

Monday, November 15, 2010

How to Beat the Winter Darkness

I am having a problem.
Long work days and short days means no time for running. And besides that I miss jazzercise because it starts at 5:15 which means that I have to leave work at 4:30. I don't feel like I can when we are really busy. Do you want to hear more whining?  I can go on and on why I can't exercise.

But here is what I can do?
  • I can wake up early and do an exercise video.
  • I can wake up early and use the elliptical while watching TV news.
  • I can wake up early and brave the dark and cold and run.
  • I can wake up early and work for awhile at home, then run when it turns light, and then either go into work or work from home.
  • I can walk downtown on lunchtime.
  • If I work from home, I can go for a run at lunchtime.
  • I can get to work early and leave at 4:30 for jazzercise and if I have to work at home later.
  • When I get home, I can use the elliptical while watching TV
  • If I can get home by 5, I can run for an hour before it gets too dark.
And of course there is the weekend. So there is lots of time to work out if I can just be creative. It is worth it. I just have to do it and not let the darkness of winter overtake me.

JUST DO IT! to borrow from Nike. Don't think about it and talk yourself out of it - just do it! Remember to smile and do a good deed for someone. Someone might do a good deed for you. Remember karma!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Random Thoughts Today while Running

I ran 5 miles today. It took me 1 hour and 19 minutes and I am happy with that time. I am ecstatic with that time!  Since it is good for me and I kept up the pace for 5 miles. Anything under 16 minute miles is good for me. I am approximately 100 pounds overweight so this is good.

I feel healthy even though I might not look it. I feel good about myself - I don't care if others see me running and think wow is she slow or looks like a big fat girl running. Yes! that is what I am. A big girl but I can run 5 miles!! I am not saying I shouldn't lose weight for my health. I should and I am working on it and I will!! Because I am committed to being healthy.

I recently turned 50 and even though I am pretty healthy already I want to continue that.  I have only been married to the love of my life for 5 years and I want to enjoy many more years of health with him. I am enjoying life more than ever lately and life is good. I don't want to say "I can't" anymore because I weigh over 200 pounds. I want to say YES to life! 

It is worth turning down sweets and pizza and ice cream and alcoholic beverages. It is worth running even when I don't feel like it (like this morning).  It is worth having to think about portion size and quality of my food if it will keep me healthy. So I want to lose weight so I can look better, buy cute clothes, and dazzle my husband (but he says I already do that) :)  But the main reason I want to lose weight is to be healthy.

Smile!! and do a good deed for someone - you will feel better about yourself.

Friday, November 12, 2010

My goals for next week

I have been busy at work and busy at home it seems. I have been choosing my food well and been saying no to sweets in our work kitchen. I have brought my lunch all week and my husband and I haven't eaten out all week which is my downfall most of the time. 

I ran last Saturday, Tuesday and Thursday. 5 miles, 3.5 miles and 4 miles. I didn't get to go to jazzercise all week. I really need to start up again. I lost inches when I was going regularly.

Tomorrow is weigh in at Watch Watchers. I hope I lose at least a pound.

Next week I want to enter into the next lowest decade of weight. So my goals are to continue choosing wisely, try to attend jazzercise at least twice, run at least 3 times, and drink more water.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Simple Summer Pleasures of my Youth

I heard a song this morning on the radio on the way to work. Not sure what it was called but it was Kid Rock singing. For some reason I like some of his songs. This one was about being young during the summer in northern Michigan. Since I grew up in southern Michigan and took many summer vacations in northern Michigan it sounded familar. It made me remember all the simple summer pleasures of youth.

  • Swimming in the lake
  • Sitting by the fire at night
  • Canoeing
  • Fishing or really we were tanning on the pontoon boat but pretending to fish
  • Spending the night on my friend's pool deck or sleeping in a tent that we made out of blankets
  • Playing board games on the front porch with my friends since we didn't have air conditioning
  • Bicycling around the town
  • Watching baseball games at local park
  • Having the time to read all the books I want
  • Lounging under our willow tree because it was the coolest place that I knew
If I only knew that life was simple back then - even though I thought it was complicated. I had my whole life ahead of me and had no idea where it would take me. I am not sure I would take the path that I did, but I don't know what I would change either. Every moment made me the person I am today and now that I am "older" I appreciate that person.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Weekend Doldrums

There is no reason for this weekend to be blah. Especially today. It has been a gorgeous Fall day. Sunny but with a chill in the air, but not enough for winter coats.  I ran 5 miles yesterday and did errands. No big obligations this weekend. I was able to spend time with my husband. But today we had to clean all day for an open house that one person showed up at. This person didn't even have their house on the market yet.

Our house has been on the market since February. It is depressing that we can't sell it. Hardly any lookers even - maybe 4. I try not to dwell on it. I believe when the time is right, it will sell. Maybe our new house isn't ready yet. Maybe we need to stay in this house for awhile longer for some reason. Maybe we shouldn't sell at all.  I don't know. But what it comes down to is "does it matter?" in the long run.

We are lucky - we are still able to make our mortgage payment, we have our jobs, and our health. Many do not have these blessings. So I am going to be positive about the house not selling even though around me is frustration and depression about not selling. No use blaming anyone - it is what it is this market. I would rather concentrate on what I can change. I can't change the housing market and I can't make someone want my house.

 So I wait, but in waiting I am gaining! I am growing in patience and gratitude for what I have surely things I need in more abundance. It will happen when it happens, but in the meantime I am going to be grateful for what I have.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Good eating

I feel like I am getting on track. I am a little afraid to say that because as surely as I do, I will be off track. But hopefully by publicly saying this if I do get off track I will jump right back on track. Do I have you confused yet?

I have been eating pretty good the last half week. I brought my lunch to work - salad and the day I ate out I ordered fish. I didn't snack all day or gorge myself. I ate "healthy" food like a bagelthin, a little bit of peanut butter and a banana. I had a salad made with fresh vegs, pecans, feta cheese, and a little bit of chicken. I ate brown rice, chicken breast, small salad, and brocolli.  And I am completely satisfied.

I did have ambitions of trying to eat totally healthy and green and clean I think is what they call it. I am intrigued, but I don't think it will work for me. At least where I am at now in my  journey. So I try to incorporate healthy whole foods into my diet and make small changes. They are the ones that last anyhow.

So today when I went grocery shopping I was amazed that I hardly touched the inside aisles except for toilet paper (gotta have that), whole wheat pasta, canned tomatoes, black beans, and peanut butter. That is a change. It felt good. Then I went of my favorite websites and saw a couple of Roni's creations that had me experimenting. This is something like hers but I didn't have any spaghetti squash.

I layered this in an 8x12 pan and put in oven for 20-30 minutes.
Cooked whole wheat penne
Sprinked some low fat cheese (mozzarella and parmesan)
Cooked ground beef with can of tomatoes, black beans, corn, taco seasoning, and spinach on top of the cheese.
Sprinkle some more cheese and VOILA!

It is about 400 calories if you cut in 6 pieces and haven't figured out the Weight Watches points yet; I am thinking about 8 but not sure. It looks very filling. Here it is! Not sure it looks as good in the picture as it does in real life.

Here is the serving - pretty healthy serving.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Letdown after 10K??

Do I feel let down after the wonderful time I had last weekend? Besides running my first 10K on Sunday, I was able to spend time with some of my best friends this weekend talking, playing, games, running, eating, ...  It was an awesome weekend.

But surprisingly no - I don't feel a letdown! I feel like I am flying high. I feel energized and it is Friday.  Of course I was exhausted on Monday and even Wednesday. Busy days at work this week and Tuesday we had dinner with our small group from church and Thursday I had a Christmas Tea planning meeting. Wednesday I grocery shopped after work and then ran 3 miles.  But even with all this busyness, I am feeling good inside.

I think when you reach a goal, like my 10K or whatever it is, you should celebrate and feel good about yourself. I do have a habit of looking forward to another goal immediately. But I think that is fine as long as you appreciate your achievements. They can be small goals or huge goals but for people like me who are goal oriented I need something to look forward to. Whether it is at work, home, or exercise wise.

I recently turned 50 and I am so excited about the rest of my life. I am married to a wonderful man, love my job (most of the time), found a church family that I love, serve on a women's leadership at church, and have made such good friends the last few years.  My life does have some downs as the people closest to me know about but I don't think I can share yet.  It is regarding my four sons. They are from 18 to 23. Enough said.

My next running goal is the Triple Crown of running. I had it wrong the other day - the third leg is not a half marathon but a 10 miler.  So 5K in February, 10K in middle of March, and a 10 miler at the end of March.  Then at the end of April is the mini marathon/marathon. I would like to at least do the Triple Crown so that means another 5K, 10K, and da dum a 10 miler. The most I have ever ran is 6.2 miles so need to stay active this winter - that is why I set the goal so I would have to stay running through the cold dark days of winter.

I also have a goal to get under 200 pounds this year. I think I just need to follow the plan and concentrate on being healthy instead of seeing how much I could eat and still lose a little weight. LOL Sorry just being honest here.

I can't really talk about my other goals, but I do have goals at my job, with my ministry at the church, and personal goals.  I love goals! It makes me feel like a vibrant growing person and not just going through the motions. But another goal, as I mentioned a few days ago, is to slow down and savor each moment, relax and enjoy my life.  So here's to life!! It is what you make it!! Really it is.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

How others see me?

This topic has come up in the last year or so.  I am surprised at how others see me. I have been told that I am an overachiever and dominating and opinionated and outgoing and successful.  What?? This is not how I see myself at all.  I have been told I am very encouraging and nice too.

It all started with a sory that happened about four years ago,
I was managing a team of analysts and one of them accidentally sent me an email meant for someone else and called me "the evil one". I was so surprised, shocked, appalled... I couldn't believe someone thought of me that way. I thought I was a pushover and too nice and meek and quiet. I didn't think too much more about it - that person left and by the way we are friends now and laugh about that incident.

I have been at my current job ten years this month. I was quiet, quiet, shy, reserved, and not very confident when I started. I have changed and my self image has not.  My husband even told me that at work I "dominate" but in a good way. A good way???? What? I am surprised at how others see me as that shy, quiet, unassuming, reserved, not very confident person and I have found out that is not what others think of me at all. WOW!

Now I am afraid that I am being seen as someone I don't want to be seen as. I am trying to come to terms with my new personality. I am glad I am more confident and happy with myself (even though I haven't lost 100 pounds yet) but I want to be seen as a friendly, happy, confident, open, helpful, encouraging, NICE person. After all, I am still a people pleaser at heart.  And I love making people happy!

I want to also thank my job (which I know is not possible) so making me more confident, my husband for making me happy and content in myself, and my many friends at that give me unconditional love. I finally feel that I am loved unconditionally by my husband, my family, and my friends. That is FREEING! and has made me try new things.

Thank you to all my friends and I hope I make you all feel that you are loved unconditionally too!

Monday, November 1, 2010

10K Race Recap

My husband, Marty,  and I woke up pretty early to be down by the Chicago lakefront for our 10K race. We stayed with my friend Nicole (what a great hostess) and she made us coffee and I had my typical Luna bar before we left. The race was at 9:00 am, but we had to pick up our race packets still. We piled into her van and went to pick up our other two friends, Betsy and Mike, and headed down to the race. Our other friend Nick was meeting us down there.

Nicole snagged a great parking place and we headed to pick up our race packets. We got some really nice blue technical shirts. Then I used a porty potty for the first time ever. It wasn't bad, but it was early in the day. We had on gloves and coat while we were waiting. We stretched and took pictures. We did alot of people watching. It was a Trick or Treat Race so alot of costumes. Our friend Mike was a pirate. There was a "foot". There were all sorts of super heroes.  Monster Mash playing in the background. Then finally we lined up and the Star Spangled Banner was sung and we were off! 

A week or so ago I wrote that I was worried about being last in the race - not so much being last, but getting lost or turned around all by myself out on the course. Nicole read what I had written and wrote me and told me that she would run with me and we would have fun and we would finish even if we had to walk it.

So Nicole and I started off and Marty and Nick took off and we quickly lost sight of them. Mike stayed with us for awhile.  The first mile was tough for me, but I hung in there because from my training runs I knowthat sometimes the first mile is the toughest. It got a little easier and I could see some of the first 5Kers returning already. They finished in 15 minutes or so. We could see whitecaps and they were crashing on the shore. It was beautiful. The sun was shining and it was just a nice day! Mike broke away from us even though he was walking.

Nicole and I kept running and we talked. Last year when I did my first 5K I couldn't talk hardly at all, but this time I could talk. So I must be in much better shape.  LOL. Around the 4th mile, I was struggling a little, but just kept on going. Other 10K runners were on their way back and was giving us thumbs up and yelling encouragement. It was nice! We finally arrived at the turning around point where a volunteer asked us "Are you running?" I guess he couldn't tell even though we had numbers on our shirts. He told us that they had already taken down the cones, but he pointed at the turnaround. Nicole was pretty good at following the arrows so I just concentrated on running.

While we were turning around we saw another runner just coming up to the turn-around so we waved and smiled at her. She asked to join us so then there were three. We ran the rest of the way together. She had just finished a marathon a few weeks ago and was soooo encouraging to me. She ran at about the same speed as me and she finished a marathon!!! It took her over 7 hours but she did it!! AMAZING!!  So that kept me going and around 5.5 miles who do we see, but Marty and Mike coming back for us!! They walked with us as we ran the last of the race. It was Marty's first race ever and he did awesome!! I was so happy for him. Then we saw Nick coming for us and saw Betsy waving to us and then the finish line. As I ran across they announced "it is her first 10K". Betsy, the best friend ever, told him it was my first 10K. There was hardly anyone left and they had picked up most of the bananas and bagels, but who cared I finished a 10K - it was about 1 hour 43 minutes. No record but I have something to shoot for now.

After we hugged and gave each other high fives, we took off for the van. We went home took showers and then headed to breakfast (at about 1:00 in the afternoon). A great day!! Marty and I had to say goodbye and get in the car for the 5-6 hours ride back home. We stopped after a few hours for a Starbucks and we couldn't hardly walk.  Then a few more stops to stretch and we made it home. It was a fantastic weekend! I am so grateful for such good friends that support and encourage me.  There were alot of my online friends also cheering me on and I could feel their hugs and cheers while I was running.  I had to post as soon as I finished so I could let them all know that I did it!

Now what?  A 5 miler on Thanksgiving morning that Marty already signed us up for and we are contemplating the Louisville Triple Crown of Running  5K in February, 10K in March, and the Half Marathon in April.  That is alot of running - not sure I am ready for that yet, but whatever I decide it will be fun!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Day before my first 10K

I'm in Chicago and having lots of fun with my friends. We had Chicago pizza last night and Sweet Tomatoes today. We also had apple crisp squares for breakfast with Starbuck coffee and we went to a tea shop at noon and had pumpkin bars. We stayed up until 2:30 am this morning talking which is 3:30 am eastern time (my time). I don't think any of this is good preparation for my first 10K, but you know what. I don't care. I am having fun and it is about enjoying this weekend with my good friends. And I am! So whatever happens tomorrow - and I am sure it will be fine - I am happy. I am at peace with it. So I will post tomorrow night and let you know how it went - the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all. I know it will be a beautiful day in all the ways that count.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Not much progress, but it is a journey right?

Yesterday I don't think I sat still and meditated for even 5 minutes. I am going to keep practicing.

I ate fast food twice yesterday: Arby's roast beef and junior jamocha shake for lunch and a tuna sandwich at Jimmy John's for dinner. My excuse was I was in a hurry, but I can't keep using that excuse. I even packe a lunch for work, but went out. I wanted some fresh air with my coworkers. Do you want more excuses? I can think of a hundred. I need to start posting my menus here so I can be accountable.

I started the day off by running 3 miles which is my last run before my 10K on Sunday and had my favorite lite chocolate soy milk and a Luna bar for breakfast. My friends have been so supportive to me in my running journey. I am running farther but as slow as ever. I think the easiest way to get faster is to lose this extra 100 pounds that is hanging on me. Motivation!  One of my dearest friends offered to run the 10K with me (even though it is much slower than she usually does it) so I won't feel alone. Wow! I was so touched. She also ran my first 5K with me last year. It helped to have someone to talk to me (while I am panting) and it keeps my mind off how long I have to go. I know I can run 6.2 miles - I did it 3 times now but it is just knowing people will be there watching me cross the finish line last. But hey someone has to be last!

Remember to smile and savor each second today! Do a good deed for someone and see how good it makes you feel.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Work Work and More Work

I am having trouble thinking of anything but work lately. My head is spinning trying to keep up with everything. I love what I do, but I will be glad when it slows down a bit.

I feel like I always am trying to prove that I am worthy. I am worthy of my husband loving me; worthy of my job; worthy of my friends, worthy of just being. I have a hard time relaxing. I used to read alot and loved it. For the past few years I worked on my MBA and didn't have time to read for pleasure. When I graduated in August of this year, I thought I would start reading again and have all this extra time to relax. But it didn't happen. I feel lazy when I am not doing something now. I am trying to slow down and enjoy my life, but I can't seem to slow down. I have to have a goal or a project.

Today I was talking to my husband and said wouldn't it be nice if we could just retire and move by the ocean. Nothing to do but lay in the sun, swim in the ocean, and read a gazillion of books. But would I be happy? Could I slow down?  I want to say yes. I want to enjoy simple pleasures. Here I sit in our TV room with my husband, watching TV and surfing the internet. I can't just watch TV - I have to be multi-tasking.  I play games, post on message boards, write on my blog, skim the news, or catch up on work. Why can't I just watch TV and relax?

My goal is to slow down this year. Enjoy simple pleasures. Sit for 15 minutes a day and do nothing. Don't feel guilty for not being productive every minute. Learn to be quiet within so I can know myself. Am I afraid to know myself so I keep my mind busy so I can't be quiet within? Interesting and alot to think about.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Someone asked about my "running"

First of all, I do run really slow - jogging  and some call it wogging (combination of walking and jogging) but I think I am running as fast as I can.  About 16 minute miles. Once I lose 100 pounds I will be screaming fast. Let any of those skinny minis that run carry 100 pound weights and see how fast they go. So there! LOL.

I make circles around my neighborhood which is approx. 0.6 miles and then there is a new section I walk to and back sometimes which is 1.5 miles. So I mostly stay close to home. My dog goes with me for the first 1.2 to 2.0 miles and then he poops out. He is only 3 years old, but he is a boxer and they have breathing issues.  Then I go around and around. Going around for over 1.5 hours I see people come and go and they are amazed to see me still running around the neighborhood. I see dogs that I say hi to when I go around. Some bark at me and some say hi. Some chase me and some ignore me.

Here is Brady - still a puppy here. He is about 95 pounds now.

If I think about it I really don't mind going around and around. It is kind of soothing and isn't boring. I listen to music also and I meditate/pray as I run. I do alot of good thinking on my runs. Sometimes I just listen to myself breathe. Pant is more like it. One time a mail lady told me she didn't know how I did that fast walking that it was harder than running. I smiled and shrugged while inside I was like Lady this is running!

I love running! And six more days is my 10K!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Can I say no?

Yesterday I went to my Weight Watchers Meeting and lost 2 pounds! I was happy, but disappointed that I didn't lose more. The week before I had finally bit the bullet and went back to my meetings after about a month off and I had gained 3.4 pounds. So I am still up. I heard these men/women talking about their journeys and they seemed so excited and happy about saying no to eating out or no to ordering whatever they felt like off the menu or no to doughnuts.

Why can't I be like that? Is the novelty gone? I need to start again. My husband is trying to eat healthier so it should be easier for me to cook for us both now. I made a homemade minestrone soup yesterday that was to die for. I enjoy cooking on weekends, but after work on weekdays I just want easy, quick, and soothing.

But then last night while my sons were visiting, like a 'good' mother I made them chocolate chip walnut cookies.  I didn't have one. BUT I had enough dough for at least three cookies. UGH!  So this morning I am trying again to make better choices. To learn from others at the meetings and from my husband who can say no to sweets and snacks and the restaurant menu, because I can't.  I am going to learn how though.

On other news, heading out soon for my long run. I am going to try 6.2 miles. One week from today is my first 10K. I have ran 6 mile twice before so today will be my third time. I probably will have to walk some. I am coming in around 1 hour 40 minutes. SLOW I know, but you have to start somewhere. And I challenge those runners who come in at 60 minutes to try carrying around an extra 100 pounds. I might be beating them. 

Have a good Sunday! Smile and savor each minute!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Do I really want to lose a 100 pounds?

Yes I do! I think I do. Well maybe. It is scary to think about losing 100 pounds and how your life might change. You might lose friends. It might affect your relationship with your significant other. People won't be comfortable with you. They will say you have changed. And they might be right - you might have changed. 

I want to stop thinking of losing 100 pounds. I want to start making daily choices that will help my overall goal of becoming a happier, healthier person who is touching lives around me. These choices will be about moving more, eating less, making better food choices, drinking more water, knowing my health statistics (blood pressure, sugar, HDL, LDL, triglycerides, etc.) and all of that. But there is more! About smiling at someone just to make their day, letting someone cut in front of me and just smile and wave, not to gossip about someone, not to complain but be thankful, doing community service, charitable giving, and on and on.  It is about learning new things and not being afraid to experience fear. Willing to put yourself out there and who cares what others think. Trying new things - loving some and hating some. It is about LIVING where I am now and not in the future.

So yes I do want to lose 100 pounds, but it isn't all I want to do - there is so much more out there for me to do.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Is there such a thing as a bad run?

I had a good night sleep, had my morning coffee, and was ready for my morning run or so I thought. I had planned or thought about a 4 mile run since I was working from home and would save time on the commute. I started off with my dog, a 3 year old boxer named Brady.  I went about a quarter of a mile when I knew it wasn't going to be good, my ankles ached. My ankles do not usually hurt at all. I stopped and walked a little and then started running again and they got less sore as I ran. I wasn't moving very fast - I normally don't run too fast - but this was even slower than normal. I took Brady home after 2 miles; he can't run very far because of his breathing but he loves to get out there. Then I ended up doing 3.3 miles before I thought I had to get back to work.

After my run I had my typical 8 oz of lite chocolate soy milk for 90 calories and a LUNA bar for 180 calories. I love this combination - I get my chocolate fix and chocolate is good for you after a run. That is what I read and I am believing it.

So to answer my initial question, no they is not such a thing as a bad run. All runs are good. They make me feel energized and ready to take on the world. Mentally, emotionally and physically.  Even if I don't run fast or run as long as I want, or if I get strange aches - any run is good. Good for my body, soul, and mind!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Savor each second!

Well it is Wednesday and I have meetings from 7:30 in the morning to late this afternoon with no breaks!  Hope to find out some news about how my group will be organized and how the work will be divied up, but realistically probably won't get too much information today.  I ran yesterday, but could only make 2.4 miles before my time was up. I think if I could only run faster I could run farther - simple right?  Do I burn as many calories running 3.1 miles in 50 minutes as someone who runs 5 miles in 50 minutes? Do I waste too much time thinking of all of this and just get out there and enjoy.

Goal for today: don't wish my life away, but savor each second! Enjoy! I will never get this moment back again. Make the most of it. Smile and breathe! I challenge you to do the same!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


I am having a hard time telling people I am blogging. Does anyone understand?  My husband asked me for my blog address and I was embarrassed to give it to him but I gave it to him and one of my friends have it. I know I am blogging for myself. I feel it is healthy to get my feelings and thoughts out there. I am wanting all around health - healthy body, mind, spirit. So this is helping my spirit by sharing my thoughts and feelings, helping my mind by learning new things, and helping my body by being accountable on here.

Yesterday I did go back to jazzercise after a couple of months missing class. I went regularly for about 3-4 months but then stopped due to work and class schedule colliding. But I made myself leave work early 4:30 so I could make the class at 5:15.  Last night I had to catch up on my work because I left early but it was worth it. Jazzericse really helped me lose weight and inches but running is still my passion. I am supposed to be running this morning so I need to wrap this up so I can head out there. I found myself working around my workout schedule instead of working out around my work schedule. I work for a while in the early mornings and in the evenings so I can run in the mornings when it is starts getting light. I hate running in the dark but will have to start pretty soon.

I have been having problems eating healthy so I need to look up some new recipes and start cooking better for my husband and me. He really doesn't need to lose any weight but he wants to lose a few pounds.

Have a healthy happy day!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Training for a 10K

I finished Couch to 5K (C25K) of September 2009 and ran a 5K last October. When I say "run" I am taking liberties with the word since it was 16 minutes per mile but it was running for me. I was around 255 pounds at the time.  Then over the winter it was cold and dark outside - the dark bothered me more than the cold - I really slacked on my running.
So in Spring 2010 found me once again doing Couch to 5K and it worked - I was running again but I stayed at about 30-40 minutes which wasn't quite 3 miles for me. So after I finished my MBA at the end of July I felt motivated for a new goal. Hence I was on a high and signed up for and announced to the world I was doing a 10K on Halloween of 2010 in Chicago where I had done my 5K. I had a group of friends that ran with me last time that signed up too. It was going to be a party weekend.
 I ran 3 or 4 times a week. 3-4 miles during the week and a longer run on the weekends. I bumped it up a half mile every weekend and lo and behold by mid September I ran 6 miles one Sunday.  The weekend I did 4.5 miles I thought I was going to collapse but the 5, 5.5, and 6 mile weekends were great!  Then I ran a 3.1 mile on my birthday and thought I have this - I ran a PR personal record for me that day.
Then .... hip problems. My hip started hurting so I laid off running and tried to rest it. It felt better, but my training was off now. So I gradually built up and 5 weeks later I did another 6 mile this past Sunday. I had to walk some of it and I had to push myself to finish but I did it.
Now in 2 weeks I will have to make the decision to do the 5K or 10K at the race. I am leaning towards doing the 10K since I hate to back down on my goals. But I am trying to listen to my body and the past 5 weeks I had the hip problem and shingles. Very painful. But I can do it! I know I will be the last person. I looked at last year's time and the slowest was 1 hour 30 minutes and I am coming in at 1 hour 43 minutes or so.
I am afraid of getting lost on the run more than afraid of being last. I am tired of being afraid - I am going to go for it! I have nothing to lose but my pride. I have a iphone and no how to use it if I get lost. Call my husband to come and find me.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

First Day of Blogging

I am not sure what I am doing, but I decided to start blogging. Why? Not sure - many reasons.  One is wanting to help myself by journaling my ups and downs and be accountable. Two is wanting to document my journey and give others hope for a happier life while at the same time discovering perfection does not make us happy. Third I am just curious about blogging.

For my first blog, I wanted to introduce myself. Since I have a tendency to write a book, I will start with the basics and then each week go into more of my life's journey so far.  I want to capture how I came to be who I am and now where I am going from here.

I recently turned 50 and have been happily married for the second time for 5+ years. I have four sons who are all 18 and over. I started off as an ambitious college graduate moving away from my home town to work for a huge software company as a programmer and then transformed to a stay at home mother. I again transformed to a high school teacher and eventually went to work for a global consulting firm and have been there for the last ten years.

I have been overweight for most of my adult life especially after I had my children.  I was never very athletic or into working out. About two years ago I started Weight Watchers and weighed in at 279. About a year ago I started Couch to 5K and ran my first 5K in October 2009. I kind of slacked off running during the winter while I finished up my MBA.  Now I am training for a 10K later this month and am at 245.  I don't want my weight to define me or stop me from doing things and I have tried not to, but I realize that I need to lose weight to keep my health - I have been lucky so far.

I hope blogging will help my desire to have a strong body, a strong mind and fulfill my need to share with others.